Replace “Just do it” with Just say no!”

{ March 19, 2010 @ 11:11 am } · { Uncategorized }

I am greatly disturbed by the latest news out of Hollywood. I know, you didn’t figure me for the type, me neither. Atlas, I love Sandra Bullock have ever since Speed, love Keanu Reeves too but that is whole other story.

I am so heartbroken for her and her marriage troubles, a whole lot more than the Tiger Woods scandal. You have seen for years how in love with her husband Sandra  is, declaring it and appreciating him.

That brings me to the first of my points, it appears and all the “relationship” books will tell you, don’t let a man know how much you like them, they are no longer the pursuer, the hunter. How I have longed for the man who would let me be honest about my feelings, not suppose to be that way in marriage though, you’ve committed, you’re in, you stop looking for someone to pursue, supposedly, hopefully.

They were doing a recap on some show I happened upon, look who had cheating husbands, Halle Berry, Kate Winslett and Renee and on and on, if they cheat on these gorgeous women , what chance do we ordinary women have? But we do, read on.

I believe men and women share the blame equally, let them know they can’t get away with it and start saying no before you’re married. We will never fix our families and our country until we go back to this.  The sexual revolution has not freed women sexually, it has given men all they want without the need for commitment. Do some men want commitment, yes, but our society bombards them with sexual images all day long, I sincerely believe it would be almost impossible to control their urges constantly. Bravo to those that do.

I have young adult sons, and I have always known that you try to keep the temptations away, but they are everywhere, I hide my Victoria Secret catalogue, you mothers know that. You fathers of daughters, you know you keep your daughters away from fuzzed lipped boys, it’s hormones. We all know that.

Which brings me to another point. Something I have been saying for years, we, as a society have to stop with the instant satisfaction, in every area, not just sex; it’s food, alcohol, eating (that’s my weakness) shopping, keeping up with the Joneses.  The spending, I’m guilty, the government is especially guilty but even they are just giving us what we keep asking for, more and more.  Jim Bunning Senator for Ky recently drew a line in the sand and said no more spending until we have the money, it happened to be for unemployment and was widely unpopular. I started it at home, had to, no more spending unless it’s on the budget and it’s strict and lean. Boy does it feel better than spending, being frugal it feels good and right.

I digress though, back to the sex – A study just put out by;  by the sex researcher Joe McIlhaney from the Medical Institute for Sexual Heath in Austin  recently co-authored the book Hooked: New Science on How Casual Sex is Affecting Our Children with Dr. Freda McKissic Bush. McIlhaney said the book contains, “The most modern neuro-science available to man today.”  says that men and women bond when they first are intimate and subsequent encounters with other partners weakens the chemical bonding.

AHH, HA, I have known this for years, and you women know it to. The research goes on to say that a 20 second hug is enough to bond a woman to someone, skin on skin sex creates oxytocin in women helping create that loving feeling. Think about it, men you are lucky this happens to women, because most of you are not that great to look at and are quite inept at communication, I’m sure you wondered sometime in the back of your brain how we fell in love with you men at all, here it is.  First for women though is a mental connection they are interested by a man and then emotional connection, they like his personality, his traits are important to them.  You need to follow these steps first before you think about being intimate.

But men also secrete a hormone called vasopressin, also known as the “monogamy” hormone. Men need to be in a place in the relationship where they are not only attracted to a woman physically but emotionally and mentally, or else they have uncertainty come into play.

All this supports waiting for mature adults and abstinence for young adults. Many sexual partners will destroy your brain’s ability to commit to one person and to keep looking for happiness in the next person.

Which brings me back to Hollywood, can we blame these people, I felt sorry for Tiger Woods, you know he had all those beautiful women thrown at him. It’s like an alcoholic working as a bartender or a food addicted at the buffet, sure willpower and determination comes to into play but I have to doubt that it is sustainable. What has really happened is that it’s more acceptable, and it’s splashed everywhere in the media, sure it happened 50 years ago but it was swept under the rug. I think that is where it needs to stay whether it’s in the couple next door’s house, the preacher, or the movie star. BTW, this is Sandra Bullock’s first marriage and Jesse’s 3rd, hmmm.

It really is no one’s business and it damages all of us especially those involved. Leave everyone’s private lives to themselves.

It’s time to replace “Just do it” to “just say no!”

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